Written By A. McRae.
Homewrecker. Desperate. Lonely. Ugly. Hoe. Broke. There are just a few words used to describe women who involve themselves with someone else’s man.
I recently realized that side-chicks are more prominent than I originally believed. Many posts/memes fill the spaces of Twitter and Instagram, and I find myself holding many conversations about the women who wear the side-chick title with pride.
I got involved not too long ago with a man who put me in a position I’d never in a lifetime thought I’d be in: the side-chick. At first, I had no idea I was becoming his side piece. As time went on, his behavior became more complex, which caused me to acknowledge that our relationship wasn’t normal. That’s when I figured out that our relationship was more of a situationship. The odd part about it was that we weren’t having sex with each other. That’s when I realized this whole side-chick concept is a little more complex than people make it seem. A side-chick is a usually a woman who isn’t the wife or girlfriend of a man, yet has sexual relations with him while he’s in another relationship. Now while I’m on the topic, I want to be clear that these side-chick roles can apply to men as well.
Many people only associate the title with women, but there are men who would be considered side-pieces; and as I stated before, there are levels to the side-piece game. Let me break it down:
“The Fuck Buddy”
This is the person who is present solely for sex. There’s no need for too many questions, nor any in-depth conversation for both parties involved. This is the general scenario that immediately comes to mind when Someone says “side-piece”. Often times, a woman in this situation is labeled a “hoe” for wanting someone else’s man and following through.
This is a step up from the Fuck Buddy. Occasionally, both people may hang out, grab a bite to eat, smoke, etc., but nothing more legitimate. I find that this situation usually occurs with taken women and men who aren’t interested in commitment and don’t care about the woman’s other partner. One person may be interested in becoming more, but they are content with the situationship.
“The Swindled Lover”
This type of side chick has no idea that she’s becoming a side chick. She probably met her pseudo boo at a party or work, but the subject of his girlfriend never came up. She may become attached to the seemingly available man; meanwhile, he makes no plans of telling her about his relationship. This is a common-type of side chick, but can definitely apply to men as well. Keep in mind that many people become romantically involved with the committed individual due to lack of knowledge of their interest’s significant other.
“The Ride or Die”
This type of side piece wishes to carry out one goal — to prove his or her worth. They answer when called and do everything in their power to show why he or she is the better choice over their interest’s significant other. A sexual relationship probably exists, but their relationship may go beyond that. This side-piece goes above and beyond to make their interest happy. They avoid arguments and the like, secretly hoping that one day the situationship may actually turn into a relationship.
“Batshit Crazy Boo” (sometimes referred to as clingy)
Simply put, this is your standard crazy bitch. This side-piece was meant to only be a one-time fling, but got a call for another quickie. Next thing you know, ol’ dude is showing up at your house, your job, or maybe even your friend’s party. We all know pussy has some sort of freak mind control over guys. With women, the side chick attempts to see you every day and forming the idea in her head that you are now her man. Be careful. This is the type of girl to overstep her boundaries and start coming at your real girlfriend.
Possibly the most dangerous type of side piece. She is the one your man becomes emotionally attached to. He’s the one your girl can’t seem to stop thinking about all day. Even though she or he may pose no initial threat, this is the worst situation to be involved in. Both parties have deep feelings. They don’t want to leave their relationship nor do they want to leave the side one that’s forming. An emotional connection exists beyond the sexual. Be clear, this type of side piece is very rare. Men tend to stay with their real girlfriends or wives. For women, I think it’s more realistic to have a “Potential.” Many women step outside their relationship because they are lacking something. I think it more probable for women to actually leave their current boo and seriously date their “Potential.”
Side chicks get a bad rep, but I’m not dead set on believing that they are all hoes or desperate of sorts. People don’t choose who attracts them, but you can help how you act on it. Some readers will believe I’m naive, bias, or passive because of my related experience, but all side-piece situationships are not the same. The lines become blurred once your side relationship goes beyond the physical. It’s important to assess your situation for what it is. Know your place and decide how you feel about the entire picture because it’s important to be content with the decision you make.
No, I don’t support being with another woman’s man –nor would I suggest keeping yourself in a side-piece role. My situationship was new and exciting, affectionate, confusing, stressful, hurtful, and took a toll on me emotionally and mentally. The internal conflict that some go through is very real. For those of you who haven’t been in this situation, getting caught up is easier than you think.